replaying the same level in a video game for the hundredth time
The villain has the hero at gunpoint. Everything seems lost. Then the hero has an amazing idea: Make them talk. So the hero says “Now since I am as good as dead, tell me: Why are you doing this?”
The villain smiles and shoots him.
im watching a documentary on dinosaurs and literally every narrator enters with this effect
Quoth the raven,
was this really worth sticking your head in a toilet
TO THE MINISTRY!
oh my fucking god
NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
this is some nightvale-level shit goin on here
Actually, the road to hell is not paved with good intentions. its unpaved. thats because the devil is a libertarian and believes that paving roads is not the publics responsibility and so far no third parties have had any interest in paving the roads anyway because the minimal unpaved approach helps enhance hells spooky ambiance.
i never get sick of this guys puns
So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?
"Do not come any closer."
and then romeo-kun and juliet-chan inevitably committed the seppuku
sugoi. what light through the window comes, desu?
it is the east, and my waifu is the sun.
did my kokoro doki till now? forswear it, sight!
for i ne’er saw true kawaii till this night.
o romeo-kun, romeo-kun, doushite art thou, romeo-kun?
deny thy otou-san and refuse thy namae,
or, if thou ja nai, but be sworn my daisuki,
and i’ll no longer be a capulet-sama.